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Stories
That Make Us Laugh!
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Eubanks'
Love To Laugh!
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Photo
from 1959
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One
of the great things about these reunions is getting together
and telling "STORIES" on each other. Some are just to
good to not share. If you have a good one, send it to me and
I'll add it to the list. Then when others see the person the
story is about at the reunion they'll be able to share in
the laugh.
One
of the best I've heard was told by Jerry Neal Eubanks
recently. As soon as I get more time I'll add it. (So, Jerry
Neal, this is your chance to send it to me in 'your own
words'. If you don't I'm just going to share it anyway.
)
Eddy Eubanks says: You can't have a
TRUE TEMPER FIT unless you're 100% Eubanks.
There are a lot of folks around that THINK someone they
know or are related to has a bad temper. But until you see a
Eubanks Temper Fit, you ain't seen nothing.
Back right before Uncle Tommy passed away I ask
him if he ever got mad? The reason I ask this was I had
never seen him mad. And he had just told this
story:
When Diana and Sammye were young and Ronny was still
crawling they lived in Russellville over by Ark Tech on Hwy
124. The house had a enclosed garage. Tommy was working on
his car in the garage, rebuilding the carburetor. Diana and
Sammy were sent to bed by Joyce but instead of going to bed
they opened the door to the garage. Diana was standing there
swinging back and forth in the door when Tommy looked up and
said, "does Joyce know you 2 are out here? Diana says
"yes". About this time her foot hits the pan of gas he's
using to wash parts. It flips over, gas runs all over the
garage floor all the way to Tommy and -
YOU GUESSED IT- the hot water heater. The flames
lept from the hot water heater to Tommy, putting him on
fire. The girls run screaming for Joyce, who was trying to
get Ronny to sleep. She gives Ronny to Diana and runs to
help Tommy. Diana gives Ronny to Sammye and Diana starts
screaming out the front door, "my Daddy's on fire, my
daddy's on fire! Sammye puts Ronny on the floor and runs out
the door after Diana, leaving the front door open. Ronny
then crawls out the front door after them. After Tommy gets
the fire out - he's not burn bad - it takes a while for them
to get Diana caught and brought back to the house. That's
when they discover Ronny is missing. After a quick search
they find him out by the highway. At this point Uncle Tommy
says - in his slow drawl - "It was my fault, I shouldn't
have had the gas close to the hot water heater."
To which I ask - remembering my dad's Eubanks Temper - did
you ever get mad like most Eubanks'?
Uncle Tommy Eubanks then told this story:
Seems when he was young he had an old car one time with a
bad headlight. He was outside trying to put a new headlight
in with Granny in the house. He didn't know she was
watching. He said he couldn't get the headlight to go in
right and after several trys he had one of them Eubanks
Temper Fits. He picked up a hammer and started hitting the
car all over. He busted the windshield, the headlights, the
tail lights, the hood, the fenders, the trunk, the doors. He
hit it so many times he was about to fall out. Just when he
couldn't hit it anymore because he was to tired, Granny
leaned out the window of the house and said, " I
believe I'd hit it one more time if I was you."
He was laughing so hard he was almost crying when he
finished that story. So was I.
I've been trying to get Jerry Neal Eubanks to send me this
story for 3 years:
If anyone in this family knows my grandfather (Tommy
Eubanks) You know that he raised two wonderful and very
respectful girls and one pretty good ole boy(Diane, Sammie
Lou, and uncle Ronny) Well I think that should get me a
couple suck up points huh Dicky. Anyway my aunt Sammie keeps
one of the cleanest house's I've ever seen, I mean a
Colorado spring feed Coors light isn't cleaner than this
woman's house.One afternoon the crew(me, Gary Wayne, Benji
and Tammy Lou) were at aunt Sammie's house playing when mom
and aunt Sammie decided to I believe go grocery shopping and
leave the crew at home.So, most of you that know any of the
crew, has already figured out "boy did Diane and Sammie just
mess up". It had been raining in Fort Smith for a couple of
days and we had a ton of frogs everywhere. We decided to go
catch frogs after about the tenth frog and not being able to
keep them from getting away Benji comes up with and idea get
the trash can and keep them in there. It worked great until
there was about fifty frogs. We needed to find a bigger
storage place hey Tammy says lets put them in mommas bath
tub. Ok folks I'm 40 years old and made allot of mistakes in
those forty years but I really believe that this one is one
of the top two for agreeing to do this. Yes we drug that
trash can straight to aunt Sammie bathroom. Let me tell you
at 11 years old the rules for aunt Sammie's bathroom there
engraved in my mind like the ten commandments are to a
preacher. Lttle boys must lift and replace the lid
.(beautiful pink fuzzy thing on toilet seat, with matching
rugs and toilet tank cover and don't forget the engraved
matching towels and wash clothes) You must never use the
towels or wash clothes that hanging. And unless the other
restroom is occupied and you can't hold it any longer don't
use aunt Sammie's restroom. Serious she had it done up right
people and always clean. Anyway here we are four of us and
fifty of them we dumped into the tub. We played and we
played pretty soon were bored(not many things you can do
with four people and fifty frogs in a little bathroom. Now I
forget exactly who the bright apple in our bunch was but we
all agreed to the stupid thing I'm fixing to tell you about
and its a wonder I made it to 12 little lone 40. We decided
to take all the frogs out of the tub fill it with cold
water, fill the sink with hot and I mean hot water. I'm
really not proud of what I about to tell you but oh yes we
got two table spoons from the kitchen and we formed a line
in that bathroom. First you flip the frog (via table spoon)
into the sink (hot Water) putting the frog into shock. The
next person grabs it and flips it to the next person who has
Sammie's make-up mirror (you know the kind that is round,
double sided and spins) Well, the we spin the mirror,
drop the frog on the mirror and it hits the ceiling and
pooping everywhere, then flipping it very quickly
into the tub (cold water) bring them out of shock, now I
will tell you this after about thirty minutes of this it
don't smell to good at all in that room nor is there a
white or pink or clean spot anywhere. I can't tell you what
it smells like after thirty one minutes because that's when
aunt Sammie walked in and said what in the world have you'll
done. All I could say was "come on Gary Wayne we got to go
home momma's calling". That was my plan, aunt Sammie didn't
see it that way, I'm here to tell you the only whipping I
ever got for my aunt Sammie was that day. It didn't hurt any
of our rear-ends(sitting here writing this makes me reflect
back it should have hurt alot worse) but we all cried that
day, me because of hurt pride. I assume the others also but
don't know for sure, I want you to know that rest room would
have been considered for demolition in 48 states and
considered a danger to society in the rest of them, there
was frog crap on the walls floor and roof the fan was
clogged with it. The towels were ruined and a few frogs
flushed down the toilet. If that place is still in use I
promise you there is some type of frog poop still in that
rest room to this day. Dicky I have to tell you the 100
percent truth that was the most fun I had with my brother
and cousins ever except the time me and Benji pushed Gary
Wayne out of the top of a barn and broke his foot, then took
him into the middle of a bull pasture the next day and took
away his crutches. You wouldn't think a person with a broke
leg could run that fast. But that's another story.
My brother (Larry Eubanks) loves to tell this story
on me. So I guess I'll share it before he tells
everyone. (I have a few about him - ask me)
When I was a young boy I was curious about eveything.
(Still am) One day while mom and dad were gone, I found a 22
shell. I wanted to know how it worked so I decided to take
it apart. Only trouble was I couldn't figure out how to do
this. So, I laid it down on the concrete back steps and took
a hatchet and hit it to cut it in two. Yeah, that's right.
It went off, shot me in the butt. Went in one side of my
cheek and came out. Clean shot. I thought I was dead. And I
knew I was bleeding. And hurting! I started running
around the house screaming. No. I don't know why I was
running around the house. Larry ran outside, saw me and drug
me into the house. With me kicking and screaming. I don't
think he really wanted to "clean" the wound considering
where it was. So, he pushed down my pants, then with me
still kicking and screaming, pushed me, butt first into the
toilet. With one hand holding me down, he used his other
hand to flush the toilet until there was no "blood" in the
water. Then as all big brothers would do, he then said,
"you're ok now". And I was until dad got home and found out
what I had done. Then both cheeks of my butt hurt. (Dicky
Lee Eubanks)
Okay, your turn!
If you have any information that can be added to this
page please send it to Dick
Eubanks.
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